


Six Seconds

by Dispatches (orphan_account)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-10
Updated: 2010-05-10
Packaged: 2017-10-09 09:40:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Dispatches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six seconds is long enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Six Seconds

**Author's Note:**

> Written in about twelve hours for [](http://sheafrotherdon.livejournal.com/profile)[**sheafrotherdon**](http://sheafrotherdon.livejournal.com/)'s [Kissing Meme: The Sequel](http://sheafrotherdon.livejournal.com/144327.html).

Afterwards, he learned that her name was Effara, her husband's name Thelates; that her body had died five thousand years before he and Rodney had found the mind-stones and activated them without knowing what they were. Afterwards, Ronon and Teyla had assured him (assured both of them) that they had done nobody any harm. They had only gone back to Atlantis to tell how their world had died: not because of the Wraith, but because of an attempt to protect against them that had backfired horribly.

Over and over again, John watched the footage of the two of them telling Elizabeth the story of their world. Thelates held himself more stiffly than Rodney, gestured less, kept his eyes cast downwards. Effara seemed the dominant partner: she was the one who began their story, speaking in measured tones for half an hour without needing to pause for thought. It was not until Elizabeth asked her first question that Thelates spoke at all, and then he spoke in clipped, precise words so unlike Rodney's that the sound of them being spoken by Rodney's voice made John shiver.

In the last thirty seconds, Effara winced and rubbed her (John's) forehead; at the same time, Thelates reached out and grasped at the air, looking up with a kind of pain in his eyes that John hadn't seen there since Rodney had almost Ascended -- almost died. "It is time!" said Effara, and Thelates gazed at her -- at John -- with a longing so intense it made the hairs on John's arms stand up.

They rose, Effara/John and Thelates/Rodney, bowed to the gathered Atlanteans, then turned to face each other. "It is time," Thelates whispered, all sorrow, all tenderness; then he was cupping Effara's -- John's -- face and kissing her -- kissing him --

\-- and this part John remembered, how his fuzzy awareness had clarified, suddenly, and there had been a second -- no, not as much as a second -- when all he could think was _wait, wasn't I touching a stone just now? what the -- _ and then he knew. Lips on his, tongue sliding between them, hands cupping his cheeks and he _knew_.

He rewound the last thirty seconds over and over, looking for the moment when Effara left his body and a last kiss became a first. First and _only_, he's pretty sure, because -- and he remembers this, though they shut the cameras off before it happened -- Rodney was the one to pull away, with a jerk and a muttered "wait, what?"

First, last, only. Six seconds before the cameras were shut off and the footage ended, Effara left John's body with a shudder he would never have seen if he hadn't been looking for it. Six seconds -- maybe eight, if it took as much as two seconds after the cameras were shut off for Rodney to come to himself.

Thelates had meant no harm, he knew, meant only to say goodbye to his wife, not to tear out John's heart and leave it on display. Not to give him six seconds of what he'd never even let himself want.

*

It's a lot easier to avoid Rodney than he would have thought. They don't have any missions scheduled for a week, so it's just a matter of not dropping by the labs to see what's going on, not offering to pass the time with a game or two of chess, not eating lunch or dinner or breakfast at the same time as Rodney. Teyla notices three days in that something's up, and her soft suggestion that John should "talk to him, if there is a problem" makes him duck his eyes and flush red. He likes that she cares, but he wishes she didn't know him so well.

"There's no problem," he says, and that's true. It won't be a problem. It can't be. He just needs a little time to regroup, because even seeing Rodney for half an hour at the regular staff meeting makes his heart pound and his cheeks itch, now that they know the texture of Rodney's fingers. He's a dam holding back a tidal wave, but he won't crack.

Except he's forgotten that Rodney doesn't understand words like "won't" or "can't" or "impossible" or "never", and Rodney doesn't like being ignored. John's drinking coffee and reading mission reports in his quarters late one night when Rodney barges in without even knocking and says in one breath, "Look, I realise that that whole _thing_ with Effara and Thelates and the, the drastically inappropriate PDA, was kind of embarrassing and not something you want to be reminded of, but I think between the two of us we've established ample precedent that when your body's being controlled by another consciousness, it doesn't count."

John blinks. Rodney's chin is jutting out and his hands are fisted at his sides and he still hasn't exhaled. "Breathe, Rodney," he says, because he's the calm one. "It's -- it doesn't matter. We're cool."

"Oh," says Rodney in a small voice. "Then you're not -- because I got the distinct impression that you were avoiding me."

"I wasn't avoiding you."

"Oh. Good." Rodney nods sharply, opens and closes his fists, rocks back and forth on his heels, then says in a rush "Because it was just so disorienting, going from touching that stone thing to suddenly -- and I mean, I know I should have pulled away sooner, but I, really I didn't think I -- and then, bam! Kissing Sheppard! Which, wow, better than I ever imagined, and oh God, I'm totally making things worse, aren't I? I should just -- I should go, I'll go."

John's on his feet and gripping Rodney's wrist before his conscious mind kicks in. "Don't -- " he says, and then he stops speaking, because he's the calm one but there's no calm in his voice.

Rodney's staring at him now with the same longing on his face that Thelates showed to Effara when he knew their time was ending, and _oh_. The hairs on John's arms stand up once more because this time it's _his_, it's for _him_ and the dam is breaking and he doesn't care. He catches Rodney's face, strokes his cheeks with fingers that are only trembling a little bit, and kisses him, sweet and deep and slow.

This time it's John who breaks the kiss, resting his forehead on Rodney's, breathless and dizzy and shaking. Rodney's hands come to rest on his waist, and against John's lips he murmurs "So, this one counts, right?" and John wraps his arms around Rodney and breathes in his scent like air and maybe he's not the calm one after all.

[end]


End file.
